Wonder just how foolish, and dangerous to ourselves we've become? Read this article:
http://news.yahoo.com/sex-changing-treatment-kids-rise-050220027.html
The article quotes a Boston doctor who runs a clinic that apparently is one of the leading advocates for children, as young as 8 - yes, 8, who desire sex changes.
Are there really adults who are so inexperienced with children that they do not know that an 8 year old, even a very bright one, still lacks the emotional maturity to effectively decide what to wear many days, much less to make a decision that will dramatically, and almost certainly, in many cases, if not most cases catastrophically alter the rest of the child's life? 8? What about 18, or 28?
That a parent anywhere would listen to this physician is simply more evidence of one thing in my mind (and I am willing to take full responsibility for this conclusion) there is one primary thing wrong with children over the past 40 years - ADULTS! Adults who are NUTS with a capital N. Adults whose desire to make a name for themselves, avoid discipline, pain, or the slightest ridicule from family members and friends who are nuts, or both, has parenting at what surely must be an all time low. And, children making decisions with implications they will only fully understand much later in life as they experience incredibly challenging consequences which will likely haunt some the rest of their lives. Lives also likely filled with anger, resentment, bitterness, or all three at parents who were cowardly, selfish, or otherwise concerned about themselves and sleeping at the switch of their children's lives.
Tough issue? Sure. But who said effective parenting was supposed to be easy? My heart is broken for the 8 year old mentioned, and all the other children referred to in the piece. Talk about child abuse! Where are the grown ups here? Where are the people asking what in the world this doctor is smoking?
God have mercy on us as we continue this societal, and global freefall at our own hands, unwilling to trust the perfection of your plans for us. Forgive me Father for those times when I thought my ways were higher than your ways in my own life, and my children's. I am clueless absent YOUR direction.
Showing posts with label pain. Show all posts
Showing posts with label pain. Show all posts
Monday, February 20, 2012
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Pain 101
While working the employees who had occupational injuries years ago as an HR Manager, I realized something about pain, which the injured employees often confused. There are at least two types of pain, the pain of destruction and the pain or reconstruction or rehabilitation.
Typically an employee would be a no-show for a physical therapy session. His or her response when asked why the absence would virtually always be, "I went to the PT and it hurt, during and after PT, so I don't want to go back." When asked further, if any explanation of the pain had been provided, most would reluctantly concede they had be told in advance the exercises would hurt, during and, in most cases, following the session. However, the pain was necessary short-term to rebuild, or recondition an injured area so that the area would return to at or very near normal function. Almost always however the individuals would remark, "I don't trust that Physical Therapist, or the Company, you all are trying to hurt me more."
I would usually ask, "Employee Joe, what would we or the therapist gain by hurting you further?" Most had never really thought much about the question, choosing instead to believe some load of hooey foisted on them by a well-intended, though not terribly deep thinking spouse, relative, neighbor, etc.
As I walk through the process of a relationship apparently ending as a marriage (God, I am still open to the alternative by the way), I am reminded on days when the pain is intense that yes, part of this pain is the pain of destruction. Two very important relationships are being fundamentally destroyed (one between a man and woman as husband and wife, and the one between children and parents as a relationship which can absolutely be trusted - most divorced children research suggests, never grant that level of trust again - to anyone). Like Joe Thiesman's leg, years ago on Monday Night foot ball, the destruction is painful to watch and be part of for everyone involved, even indirectly. I am also reminded as I speak with dear friends whose love, encouragement, prayers and grace help me see through the fog that the pain is also the pain of rehabilitation.
Having made poor choices, I cannot control any longer (actually never did) the choices made by Kellie, or others who believe the only option is to end our life together. I can however control whether I choose to do the exercises God and others place in front of me to create, recreate and rehabilitate whatever these important relationships will look like in the years to come. And, like the employees who chose to flee the pain of PT, I can also choose to bolt, avoid the short-term pain, and greatly increase the chance I will walk some path that bears a striking resemblance to this one at some point in the future (oh what fun that would surely be).
What about you? Are you like me? Have you laughed at someone in the past who did not take time to understand the difference in the two kinds of pain, only to have to admit to yourself at some point in the past - you (I) were that person? I absolutely was, and as a result a talented woman and three innocent children have been deeply wounded.
I pray God will continue His relentless butt-kicking as He sends me back into the exercises each day on the way to a healed, reconditioned me. For those of you who He has used as assistant butt-kickers; Steve M., Phil P., Jeff L., Bryan D., James R., Scott B., Kelly S., Kellie C., Ken and Shirley, Steve E., and a host of others thank you for loving me enough to kick . . . I may not always appear to but I do understand the difference and am learning to accept (dare I say, embrace) the pain a bit more each day. Because of your love, God's love and His amazing mercy, healing will occur.
Got something that is hurting you? Which pain is it, and what do you need to do to react to it appropriately? Be careful you don't misdiagnose the pain!
Typically an employee would be a no-show for a physical therapy session. His or her response when asked why the absence would virtually always be, "I went to the PT and it hurt, during and after PT, so I don't want to go back." When asked further, if any explanation of the pain had been provided, most would reluctantly concede they had be told in advance the exercises would hurt, during and, in most cases, following the session. However, the pain was necessary short-term to rebuild, or recondition an injured area so that the area would return to at or very near normal function. Almost always however the individuals would remark, "I don't trust that Physical Therapist, or the Company, you all are trying to hurt me more."
I would usually ask, "Employee Joe, what would we or the therapist gain by hurting you further?" Most had never really thought much about the question, choosing instead to believe some load of hooey foisted on them by a well-intended, though not terribly deep thinking spouse, relative, neighbor, etc.
As I walk through the process of a relationship apparently ending as a marriage (God, I am still open to the alternative by the way), I am reminded on days when the pain is intense that yes, part of this pain is the pain of destruction. Two very important relationships are being fundamentally destroyed (one between a man and woman as husband and wife, and the one between children and parents as a relationship which can absolutely be trusted - most divorced children research suggests, never grant that level of trust again - to anyone). Like Joe Thiesman's leg, years ago on Monday Night foot ball, the destruction is painful to watch and be part of for everyone involved, even indirectly. I am also reminded as I speak with dear friends whose love, encouragement, prayers and grace help me see through the fog that the pain is also the pain of rehabilitation.
Having made poor choices, I cannot control any longer (actually never did) the choices made by Kellie, or others who believe the only option is to end our life together. I can however control whether I choose to do the exercises God and others place in front of me to create, recreate and rehabilitate whatever these important relationships will look like in the years to come. And, like the employees who chose to flee the pain of PT, I can also choose to bolt, avoid the short-term pain, and greatly increase the chance I will walk some path that bears a striking resemblance to this one at some point in the future (oh what fun that would surely be).
What about you? Are you like me? Have you laughed at someone in the past who did not take time to understand the difference in the two kinds of pain, only to have to admit to yourself at some point in the past - you (I) were that person? I absolutely was, and as a result a talented woman and three innocent children have been deeply wounded.
I pray God will continue His relentless butt-kicking as He sends me back into the exercises each day on the way to a healed, reconditioned me. For those of you who He has used as assistant butt-kickers; Steve M., Phil P., Jeff L., Bryan D., James R., Scott B., Kelly S., Kellie C., Ken and Shirley, Steve E., and a host of others thank you for loving me enough to kick . . . I may not always appear to but I do understand the difference and am learning to accept (dare I say, embrace) the pain a bit more each day. Because of your love, God's love and His amazing mercy, healing will occur.
Got something that is hurting you? Which pain is it, and what do you need to do to react to it appropriately? Be careful you don't misdiagnose the pain!
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