When Its About Me Bites Me It Stinks to Me

The truth can be very hard to swallow, especially about oneself. Trust me, after dodging it about myself for three decades, it took a shot to the life chops and hard work I resisted at every step (and some days continue to resist), and will require continual diligence the remainder of my life to keep the truth in front of me in order to be my best me.

We face the same challenge in this great land of ours today. Why is America floundering? Quite simply because we have become a land where hard questions are largely unwelcome, and hard work is considered inconvenient, uncomfortable and unnecessary - traded for the fool's gold of easy answers, slick promises and short-cut folly. The myth regarding the value of litigating, or threatening to litigate, everything is but one example.

This morning making the web is this story:

http://news.yahoo.com/white-house-party-crasher-sues-wife-50m-164827120.html

about, Tareq Salahi who is suing his wife for $50 million dollars claiming her affair with a Journey band member was designed to profit her and them (Journey, the band) while harming him in various ways.

That she had an affair, regardless of the reason, speaks to her character. However, the suit rings hollow and shows what a wasteland the judicial system has become if it does not simply get thrown out. Why? Here's why - Salahi and his wife are names you may recognize as the couple who crashed a White House state dinner in 2099.

Think about it. Didn't Salahi himself condone self-promotion for gain, grand-standing and social  conventions' disregard by his act with his wife of crashing the important dinner in the country's most significant venue? Where was his regard for people's feelings then? Where was his regard for rules and conventions then? What did he think his wife would think life on the big stage was about after they staged that stunt? And no. I do not condone her affair, mixed signals from him or not. But he's surprised? If so, Mr. Salahi must not be a very bright bulb.

Wake up Tareq! You helped create this Frankenstein. Now you want to complain that the monster's loose? Stinks doesn't it? Choices DO have consequences - regardless what we in America would like to believe today. When the law is used flippantly, before long it serves less and less value, used instead for crap like this. Might Mr. Let's Be Famous at the White House have been injured, emotionally and financially? He might have. However, didn't he have a large hand in at least creating an environment where the pain would occur?

As Americans we want the economy to improve. Understandable. And we are going to depend upon the officials we elected to get us out of a mess we collectively created, based on a continent-crush with Europe by the left (Yes, that Europe the one in even bigger economic shambles), and our growing disdain for anything hard? Right. How about we, beginning with me, discontinue the practice of keeping up with the neighbors - who are also living over their household budget (if they even have one)? How about all of us, beginning with me, get a grip on the notion we are NOT our stuff, money won't buy happiness (or wealthy celebrities would not take their own lives with some regularity - and I mean BIG celebrities with loads of cash), and the law is a weak reflection of us running from ourselves?

Please understand, I  love America. Have no interest in living anywhere else. Yet, deep love and hard, pointed questions about me/us, do not mean I do not love me (or you, or us). Rather, I would argue vigorously just the opposite is true. It is an unwillingness to ask hard questions, work through rather than avoid pain, and see myself/us as I really am rather than some fantasized notion of me (you, or us) that is the path to greater effectiveness.

Mr. Salahi, take your lumps and get out of the court-house. If that's really what the former Ms. Salahi is about, you'd be well-advised to let her join the band and play on. If something in America doesn't begin to change, and fairly soon, you will have your pick of other individuals who want to play your it's about me, until me bites me game.

WAKE UP Bart. The greatest part of the journey is embedded in the hard questions and their answers, the work required to answer the questions and the continual pursuit of new hard questions. Look in the mirror, do you see Tareq peeking over your shoulder at times? Or are you Tareq?

Vulnerability

As I face the loss of my best friend to divorce, the consequence of my misdirected attempts to hide my vulnerability, I am struck by truth of Jesus statement that the tighter we hold life, the greater the likelihood we will lose it.

I badly wanted to be loved by my sweet spouse for just me - failings, weaknesses and all. I wanted it to be alright to show emotion, express doubt at times in my own abilities and questions about faith. However, to our last days in the same house, I believed the lies from Hell - "protecting myself" from the prospect of rejection - pridefully believing I was disguising weakness for strength and insight. What a crock of crap!

On those few instances I was vulnerable, I was accepted on each occasion!!

Men, guess why God insisted we lead? Because we are dispositionally INCAPABLE of doing so effectively unless we give the responsibility back to Him realizing, "I cannot do this." He asked that we lead because doing so with any shot at success requires turning the job back over to HIM every morning.

BTW, ladies before you break something, guess why God ask that you serve in other roles? Because you ARE dispositionally suited to lead and if the task can be carried out without the absolute need for surrender, what results? Pride. Put down the glass vase. Move away from the ledge. Ponder the last two paragraphs before injuring yourself, anyone near you, or flaming me. Ponder (respond no sooner than 10 days). Back to the point at hand.

Who in your life are you hiding from tonight? Afraid he or she won't love the real you? Who has been vulnerable with you, yet you are withholding the same? Please, do yourself a favor before the chance is lost. Show them your heart. Tell someone you love, you feel honored to have a place you can go that is safe, failings and all. You will be blessed beyond words. Withhold it - trust me - you will feel both rejection and laughter as Hell mocks you for having traded pride as a counterfeit substitute for vulnerability.

He who would save his life must lose it . . .